I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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