he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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