Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
this will be a night to untag.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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