Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
