the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
