Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
