I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
