Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
