Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I intend to get homeless drunk
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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