He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
