Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
