I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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