Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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