You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
