We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
