Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
