Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
