remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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