Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
