Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
