every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
