i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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