On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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