3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize