I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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