dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
