there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Someone signed my nipple.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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