Im at strip club and am horny
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
