I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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