And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
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