I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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