the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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