Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
