let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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