So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
