And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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