Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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