so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
