What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
