quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
