So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
