That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
