threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
