PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
