he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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