Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
