i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
