is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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