we're blogging at a bar
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
