I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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