I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So vagazzling was a success
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize