I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
it was like eating out sand paper
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
