you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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