Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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