I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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